Proper flapjacks

This is the real shizz. he kind of flapjacks that are buttery, soft, chewy, syrupy and instantly gratifying, satisfying, and other things-ing. It is absolutely not healthy in any way - I'm imagining the beta-glucans in the oats would offset approximately 1/27th of the butter in one of these bad boys.

This recipe has taken me a few years to get right - if you like those kind of stodgy, solid flapjacks you get in a sealed wrapper with an alarmingly long 'use-by' date, move along. Similarly, if you're interested in crunchy, thin flapjacks, you have no business here. These are, in my opinion, perfect squares of golden loveliness which make you want to eat the whole batch. Feel free to add things like raisins, dried cranberries, figs, apples etc. Or more to the point chocolate in chip form or on top. I'll love you a bit more for that.

Makes one 23 x 30cm tinful
Ingredients:

150g butter (I use salted, if yours is unsalted please add a good pinch of salt)
100g soft brown sugar
4 big tbsp golden syrup (these three are the bad things)
Enough oats to bind (The only good thing - I usually start with about 400g, it seems like loads but trust me...)

1. Preheat the oven to 140C (fan). The method is sooooooo easy. Melt the bad things together on the hob in a pan until caramelly and liquidy and buttery and amazing. At this point add any dried fruit you want - if adding chocolate chips wait until you've added about half of the oats or they'll melt.
2. Add the one good ingredient and stir properly (not like a polite old lady shaking hands). Give it some proper welly to get as many oats covered as possible. When the last few oats are really hard to get covered and remove their powdery look, you've got the right amount. If you don't have an achey arm then you haven't tried hard enough.
3. Squash it into the tin (lined with baking paper) and really get it nice and compacted.
4. Bake it for about 15 minutes (NO MORE).
5. Remove it from the oven and let it cool in the tin before cutting it up and revelling in sugary fatty heaven. I think these may have magical powers - use them wisely.

JB xx

Brioche mark II

Well. I have found happiness. And, unsurprisingly, it contains a mildly alarming amount of butter.

Further to the last brioche post, I was a little disappointed with the results. Step forward Michel Roux Jr (not literally, that would have been far more exciting than me getting a book out of the cupboard. Which is what actually happened).

Anyway, this epic cloud of butter and egg enriched heaven was what emerged a mere 18 hours after the process began...

It was incredible...
Here is the recipe (slightly altered by my own incompetence but it worked beautifully all the same...). We froze half of it and it revived itself really nicely too. Again, I'd always use a machine as I don't have arms of steel (or even anything more solid than a rubber band).

• 15g fresh yeast
• 500g plain flour
• 6 eggs
• 1  tsp salt
• 50g (vanilla) sugar
• 250g unsalted french buttery loveliness (we used President), nice and soft and warm
• some egg wash to glaze

Method:
First, put the flour and yeast into a bowl and rub in the yeast, then add the eggs one at a time to your mixer with the dough hook on a reasonably slow speed. When it's all incorporated, it should become smooth and elasticy after about 5 mins. Then add the butter in a few additions, again with the mixer going, ensuring it's all thoroughly mixed in. Give it another 7 or so minutes at a slightly faster knead. You will create a silken ball of buttery wonder which you may want to stroke. When you can tear yourself away, put it into a clean bowl, cover with cling film and plonk it in the fridge overnight. Evening is ideal to do this bit - knock it back after 4 hours then go to bed, dreaming of Brioche clouds and asking for forgiveness from the Gods of cardiovascular disease.

In the morning your dough will be pretty solid but risen. Remove it from the fridge, give it a knead to wake it up gently, then place it into a loaf tin (well buttered). Cover with loose clingfilm (or put it in a pedal bin liner) and leave it to warm up and rise ay about 1/3 (about 2 hours or so). Preheat the oven to 180 and, giving it lots of headroom as it will puff up wonderfully) bake for 40 mins, adding a small foil hat after half an hour if it's looking a bit too brun (la Francais pour 'burnt'!). Leave it to cool if you can, then welcome to wheat and dairy heaven.

Vive la France!!

JB x